The Disease Of Discontentment....

When I read Goldilocks and the 3 bears as a child, I remember thinking Goldilocks sure was something else. Ya couldn't satisfy that girl!  Nothing was good enough. 

Fast forward and here I sit, perhaps a grown up Goldilocks. On paper my life is beyond blessed. I have healthy, happy, and cute (I may be slightly biased) kids, a husband who is patient and kind, loving friends, a roof, food, and the list carries on. Yet when I really take inventory of my thought life I am embarrassed, or really let's just say ashamed, at how very little I really thank God for these things.  Instead, a lot of my thought life is focused on what I need to work on more or on what I am lacking.

Isn't if funny how I have actually thought that the stars and moon will align and everything will all be checked off my list one day? 

But what a relief,  it's normal to battle the flesh. I heard something the other day that really hit home. It was in Phillipians 4:11-12. Paul was talking about LEARNING to be content. He also says that he knows how to be content with a little or a lot. What??!!! So that means there is hope for me. :) Being content doesn't mean I will never be challenged to change, it means that I am patient and working towards goals and not in a total tizzy when things aren't lined up.

So, in being very transparent, here are some thoughts that lead to discontent that I personally battle

-"There are so many people who volunteer more at church than I do, I should volunteer more." Ummm ya like how in comparing myself to everyone I just decided what the Lord was calling me to without even seeking Him? The problem with this is if I am not being called beyond where God has me now, I am getting in the way of who He is calling and I am burnt out and really not a whole lot of good to where I volunteered.

-"Everyone is making all these yummy new foods and crazy projects on pinterest, I am so behind!" This comparison has caused me to make a lot of dinners my kids and husband don't like, spend more money than I needed to, and then realize in the end I am just not that crafty. And ya know what thats okay!

-"I workout all the time and so and so doesn't even move and is way thinner than me. What in the world?" This comparison causes usually two things. I work out more and more til I am and dog tired, and then eat too many cookies. :)

Those are just a few of the seemingly suttle thoughts that creep their way into my heart and, really unknowingly, have taken me down the road of discontentment. Once I go down that road, cranky and tired are just right around the corner. :)

We live in a world filled with braggy facebook statuses and selfy photos and it is very hard to not fall into a trap of comparing ourselves to others, but let me tell you, God made you perfectly you. I am at my best when I am in my house with books and boys piled around me. I do not feel insecure or wanting for anything. I love their expressions while I am reading to them and my heart is full and satisfied. It is my favorite time of the day.  I am content. I am learning/trying to carry this over into all areas of my life and realize that God has a plan for me. And even though some seasons might be harder than others, He is with me calling me to them. He doesn't expect me to be flawless, but willing. He doesn't care if every hair is in the right place, but if my heart is. He doesn't care if I have a spotlessly clean house and a fridge filled with Pintrest goodies. He care about how this house is serving Him. And and the end of the day,  I can trust Him more than I can trust myself.  When I take the focus off of me and instead turn it back out it is amazing the burden that is lifted.

Joyce Meyer shared that the Proverbs 31 woman doesn't eat the bread of discontent. It doesn't say she doesn't feel like it, it says she doesn't eat it. :)

I love that.